


A Letter To You

by SapphicScribble



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, Fluff, I just love him a lot, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, and miss him even more, great, now I'm crying, some gabriel for the soul, there isn't a major plot point or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicScribble/pseuds/SapphicScribble
Summary: Unable to verbally tell Dean how he feels, Castiel decides to put a pen to paper and finally express his feelings.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	A Letter To You

It had been years. Cas had been in love with his best friend for years.

He didn't know exactly when it had happened, he just knew it had been awhile. Maybe it was that time Dean had offered him his umbrella when it had started raining back in junior year. Or it could be in middle school when he'd taken the fall for Cas and wound up with detention for a month. There's a possibility it could have been when they first met in third grade and Dean became his first real friend.

All of that aside, he was hopelessly in love with Dean Winchester.

He'd realized all this awhile ago. He'd been slowly trying to make these feelings go away. They would not. And in addition to that, they seemed incredibly hell bent on making him suffer. Every time he heard his adorable laugh. Every day he saw those gorgeous green eyes and the way they would crinkle up when he gave a genuine smile. Every single time that smile was directed at him.

All those continuous years of wanting Dean to hold him and say 'I love you' finally forced Cas to fully confront it. He'd decided to write out exactly how he felt about Dean in a letter. One Dean would never read, of course. He was sitting at his desk, tapping the pen against the empty page.

"Okay, just, get it out. This is what you've been wanting to do for forever," he sighed, leaning back in the chair. "Come on Cas, spit it out."

_Dear Dean,_

__

__

_How are you?_

Nope, nope.

Cas crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash. Okay, attempt numero dos.

_Hello Dean,_

__

__

_You'll never believe what I'm doing. I'm writing a letter to-_

Dammit! Why was this so difficult? Just, put it on the page. It's not that hard.

Except it was.

He wanted to get out every last detail. How much it touched his heart whenever he was sad and Dean was ready to stay with him until he felt better. How much their Friday night movie marathons meant to him. How happy Cas was just knowing that Dean considered him a true friend. Really, he just wanted Dean to know exactly how much Cas cared about him.

So he took a deep breath, and grabbed a new sheet of paper.

_Dear Dean,_

_It's very strange to be writing a letter. It seems odd seeing as you always like to complain about how awful my handwriting is. Though, you are in no place to judge seeing as yours is barely legible._

_I don't know exactly how to start this. It feels vulnerable, in a way. Everything I've wanted to say just sitting on a page, waiting for someone to read it. But, I suppose I should start talking about what I wanted to say._

_Dean Winchester, I love you._

_I've loved you for awhile now. If you were curious as to the exact date, I couldn't tell you. Just know its been a long time._

_You are the greatest friend I have ever had. That's why I can't tell you. I don't want to ruin our friendship. If I did, I don't think I could live with myself. I'd rather have you never know how I feel than for you to hate me._

_But it's suffocating to not be able to say anything. Believe me, I want to._

_I want to tell you how you absolutely light up a room. How you're able to lift my spirits even on my worst days. That when I feel alone, I think of your beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes. How your laugh could calm any storm._

_I'll stop there because I don't know if I'd be able to if I kept going._

_But yes, I am completely and totally in love with you, Dean Winchester. That's something that will never change._

_With love,  
Castiel_

He signed the letter and leaned back, a weight leaving his shoulders. He grabbed the envelope he'd set aside and slipped the carefully folded paper inside. Finally, he wrote Dean's name on the front of the envelope.

His phone rang from where it was charging on his nightstand and he went to answer. His older brother Gabriel's voice came rushing from the other line. His words were too jumbled to catch everything but he managed to catch, "milk, honey, dogs, plant pot".

He tried to calm him and assured him he was on his way. He grabbed his keys and jacket and locked up the apartment. He sent Dean a quick message saying he probably wouldn't be home on account of Gabriel creating some chaos.

In his hurry, he didn't realize he'd left the envelope sitting in the middle of his desk.

\---

A few hours later, he was entering the elevator to get to his floor.

Gabriel, the ever curious baker that he was, was trying out a new recipe. He'd assumed it would be, in his words, "easy peasy, lemon squeezy". It was most certainly not.

His pup, Luna, who was equally as chaotic and curious as Gabriel, had decided she wanted to taste the batter. But when she'd hopped up on the counter, she'd knocked over the mixer. The crash had startled her as well as coated the floor and cabinets with a buttercream frosting. She'd jumped back and knocked over the jar of honey. Gabriel had ran in, just in time to watch the glass jar shatter on the floor.

Luna jumped down and Gabriel's panicked shouts had scared her even more. She made the decision to hide where she normally did, behind the couch. Except her rapid movements caused the plant that was sitting on the windowsill to topple over.

When Cas had arrived, it looked like a war zone. It had taken a while to clean up the mess and also to coax Luna out from behind the couch to give her a much needed bath. But they'd finished the task nonetheless.

When he entered their apartment, he slumped against the door. "Hey Dean, you'll never guess what Luna got up to today. It involves both honey and house plants." He shook off his boots and looked around the empty living area. "Dean? Are you here?"

With no answer once again, he shrugged and approached his bedroom. When he saw a figure on his bed, he nearly screamed. "Jesus, you scared me!" Dean stayed silent and Cas started to get worried. "Hey, are you okay? Is something wrong?"

As he came around to face Dean, he saw a piece of paper in his hands. His heartrate immediately sped up. He glanced to Dean's side and saw the envelope with this name written on it. "Shit!"

Dean met his gaze, wearing an unreadable expression, "Cas?"

"H-how did you-? Did I-?" Cas raked a hand through his hair, trying to calm his nerves.

"It was on the desk," Dean pointed, "it had my name on it so I thought I should read it."

"I am so sorry!" Cas swallowed. "You weren't ever supposed to read that. I should have hidden it or, better yet, never written it at all." An awkward laugh bubbled up, "Shit, you probably hate me right now."

"No, I don't."

"I can move out, y'know, if it makes you uncomfortable. That's the last thing I'd want."

"You aren't going anywhere."

"I've ruined our friendship. God, the one thing I didn't want to do! I'm so sorry, Dean. I really am."

Before Cas could continue his panic session, Dean lightly grabbed his arms. "Cas, look at me." Cas slowly met Dean's gaze. "You haven't ruined anything. And I don't hate you, okay? I could never hate you."

Cas nodded and let out a quiet, "Okay."

Dean smiled and his gaze dropped to the floor. "So, did you mean everything you said?"

"Huh?"

"In the letter? Did you mean everything?"

"U-uh, yeah. Yeah, I did."

"Wow, that's" Dean trailed off, still enamored with the floor.

"It's okay. We can both just forget it ever happened and go back to just being friends."

"But, I don't want to be friends."

_Oh._

Cas took in a shaky breath and nodded, slowly backing away. In the dead silence, he was sure he heard the sound of his own heart breaking. "I understand," he said, his voice cracking.

"Wait, crap, that isn't what I meant! I meant I don't see you as a friend!"

Another long pause.

"That didn't come out right," Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. "What I'm trying to say is that I love you too, Cas."

Cas felt his mouth go try. Was he hearing this right? Dean loved him? And not in a brotherly way?

"Cas, you okay?"

Instead of responding, Cas walked up to Dean and cupped his face. Their lips lightly brushed against each other's. It was tentative but breathtaking. Cas pulled away only for Dean's lips to come crashing back into his. One of Dean's hands wondered to Cas' waist while the other carded though his hair. Cas smiled against his lips.

Once they both needed breathe, they broke apart, slightly panting. Their foreheads rested against one another's and Cas looked into those stunning forest green eyes. "I'm better than okay."

Dean smiled before leaning in for another kiss. Cas decided that this was everything he'd ever wanted, and more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed :D
> 
> I really just want the boys to be happy man.


End file.
